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Mary's
Fight
by
Mary Vivenzi
Introduction:
Some may wonder why I
chose to publish this letter on a support line. As I
have said many times before... We are here for
accountability, validation, knowledge and support.
This letter is an example of how frustrating and
debilitating this process can be and what workplace
deaths do to all of us at some point (at least).
Why is this
so important? The best example that I could come up
with is: I ask my son over and over again to please
wait on the crossing guard. He knows to wait on her,
I know I have told him and there are school rules telling
him to wait. My son still starts to walk right out
into traffic and many times I have had to be there and
save his little hinny. Employers have been told and
told of the rules, know the rules and acknowledge them
still they proceed and the result is the death of another.
A preventable death that no one is responsible for because
of a loop hole or their claim of ignorance (which by the
way is never a good excuse for the general population).
Betsy's word of encouragement:
"Enjoy what we
have because everything is changing every day. I will see
him again because I know he is waiting for me. I
know he is watching me and I know every time I see a
sunset he is smiling down on me. For this phase in my life
I have some things to do and I can't do them if I have a
dark heart."
Mary's Fight
Today
marks the third anniversary of Kevin's death. After
falling to his death (on August. 13, 2002 at
9:15 am) working on the golden gate bridge for
Shimmick/Obayashi's (joint venture of phase 2 of the
seismic retrofit). As I try to look back to that
horrific moment when I learned for the
first time that my life, the lives of my children and
so many other's had in a moment's time had been changed
forever. Reflecting on what has changed between
that day and this, I see nothing.
All
the emotions are still there from the pain that was
expected. To the anger that most rejected, as if we were
not allowed to display anger for fear of falling on
deaf ears and would undoubtedly be mistaken for blame.
The media and those who knew what was happing refused to
speak. I remember all the letters I had written to
the media in a desperate attempt to expose the truth of
what the company had not said in their typical statement
given to the media following Kevin's death. That did
nothing more than lead the general public to believe
there was a fatal accident because the company
was looking into weather the victim had been properly tied
off. Which successfully led the public to
believe that Kevin was indeed to blame. This is an all to
commonly used trick that the corporate world uses to gently
shift blame giving them the opportunity to quietly clean
up the mess and any responsibility they may have had in
it.
I
remember each response I got from the media. Most of them were the
same a quick apology followed by were sorry but we can’t help
you at this point because without solid proof everything your saying
is nothing more than hearsay. I remember the tortured feeling of
helplessness that overwhelmed me after being told by Michael
Cabanatuan of the S. F. Chronicle that I was nothing more than a hurt
angry soul overcome with grief placing blame in order to make sense
out of something I could never possibly hope to understand. Which at the
time felt like the cruelest most heartless words anyone could
ever say to another person in my situation.
It
took me some time to come to grips with the fact that those
words would soon become a blessing of sort's to me. ALONG WITH
THE VERY THING THAT HAS THE POWER TO KEEP ME GOING WHEN GIVING UP SEEMS TO
BE THE EASIER CHOICE BY FAR. It was never me who didn't understand
or needed to place blame. It was him he was the one who didn't have a clue
choosing to look the other way making up his mind to remain
blissfully unaware of the pain he helped to create. Ultimately he
helped me come to understand that in every profession there are those who
show up because they want to be the best at what they do and there
are those who show up just for the check. My point being that
no matter who says what or who does nothing at all in the end it is up to
each of us on our own to keep on trying instead of allowing the
negligence of others to cause us to choose to just lay down and die.
3
year's have passed and nothing has changed and getting over it has
not occurred to me as ever being a choice only a sign of weakness.
Bottom line is although the fight in front of me is a long
hard uphill battle. I have made a choice not to back down. And
although I have frequently been ambushed by lies and negativity I
tread on and against even the worst possible odds
I will not budge an inch. Because in the end I
will be able to say even if I am unsuccessful in making change I did
the right thing. My friend's are all that matter. I Love You Kevin Scott
Noah now and forever.
~Mary
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