|
Distrust
because we were given a right to a
safe and healthful workplace, free from recognized hazards and
that has been proven a farce. Not only do we lack that
right but have no right to set it straight. Distrust
because of the cover ups, conflicting stories, abandonment and
accusations.
Guilty because of decisions
imposed. Guilty because we may of have had to make an end of
life decision, sell items of importance or was not able
to abide by our loved ones wishes. Guilty because we were not educated enough to warn our loved ones of
the dangers they were confronting and had no clue as to what
was really going on in the workforce.
Helpless because
there is nothing we can do to stop death making decisions. Helpless
because we are not in the position to stop it from happening
again. Desolate because
we have lost our innocence,
we no longer believe in kind hearts, truth, justice, safety,
people or even simply the right to live and care for our
family. I
thought that I was doing fine; I have a great family, we are
all happy and I am more in love with my
husband than ever. What I didn't realize is that my
social life is null and void and I really have no desire to
put one back in place.
I
prefer my relationships to be from a distance and all though I
still volunteer to help with the elderly and sick it
doesn't
have the impact that it used to. I
fell in love with these people; I still care about them, enjoy them and
sometimes even cry with them but for the most part I now feel this veneer
between us.
This
is not an easy thing to admit because it simply means that some
small spot in my
heart has been hardened. I no longer look
or feel like the old Tammy I once knew. I have looked for my old self
but it died during this death experience and it left me with
these four eternally relentless bags to carry.
|
